Alaska for real
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact

GUEST BLOG: My Maine Coon, Katya (II)

8/5/2017

5 Comments

 
Picture
Vermin detected!
​ You guys have been missing me, right? I told my person you would be, but she makes all these lame excuses about being busy with summer chores and visiting kids and blah, blah, blah. I just stare at her. Until finally she gets it.

     Her blog needs a dose of Maine Coon.

     BTW, even though you haven't heard from me directly, I've been behind the scenes of her blog like usual, giving her pointers on what works and what doesn't--she can be so clueless in these matters--when she's taking pictures for a post. Check out the opening photo of her Interview with Bjorn Dihle, of his book Haunted Inside Passage (click on Books or Authors in the categories section). That's all me. In the picture below you can see me giving her advice on how to frame the photo of his book.
Picture
Director of Photography: One of my many skills.
​ Anyway, it's summer here which means I have to really ramp up my vermin eradication duties to keep up with the migrant herds of mice, shrews, squirrels, weasels, not to mention the occasional malodorous mink. It's a full time job.

     I'm proud to share with all of you that my person has finally gotten with the program and has made my mission much easier to accomplish by putting in a new floating walkway to shore that allows me to hunt at all hours and still be able to return to our floating HQ to refuel, no matter what the tide is doing.

     I am so proud of her! I came inside and meowed up a storm, congratulating her on her unexpected brightness and initiative (sometimes I think I underestimate her), then demonstrated my prowess on the new walkway. You can see my runway skills below.
Picture
The new walkway receives an A for effort from me.
​ Sadly, she continues to deserve "the back," in order to discipline her on occasion.

     Maybe you've heard about the bear problem Alaska's been having this year. They're everywhere and they're causing trouble, sometimes attacking humans. Naturally, I'm concerned about my person and want to make sure she survives in order to continue to feed me and groom me after I've gone to all the trouble of adopting her and training her.

     Well, the bears have been around here, too. I came in one night and woke my person up with my special "BEAR!" alarm. I can really crank up the decibels when I give this particular meow. I gave my person my biggest-eye look to really get it through to her that this was Serious Business.

     She didn't get it. She thought I was crazy.
 
     Until we went for a walk the next day and I showed her a huge pile of bear leavings right in the middle of the trail, only a few yards from the house. Who's crazy now? I asked.

     Turns out, she is.

     I couldn't believe my eyes when, instead of running home like a good little person, as I insistently instructed, she took pictures.

     Seriously?

     I was forced to give her "the back" until she realized the error of her ways and followed me home.

(Graphic Photo Warning: If you have a sensitive stomach, do not look at the picture below.)
Picture
Disciplining my crazy person. Someone has to do it.
​    It's been hot these last few days and my winter fur has been only slowly coming off all summer a hair--or a hundred--at a time, all over my person's clothes and furniture. She complains, but I'm the one wearing a fur coat in 80 F degree heat.

     But my person is nothing if not inventive. When my brush just wasn't coping, she discovered that a small flat stone with a ragged edge pulls all the loose hairs out by the gross. I lie on a rock while she uses the "cat scraper" to good effect.
Picture
The fruits--or hairs--of my person's labors.
​  It sometimes takes an hour for her to groom me properly, and she fusses about it, but we all have to do our part to keep me in top vermin-eradication form.

     That reminds me. It's time to clock in again and make sure the critters remember who's boss around here. I just need a final polish--it's important to keep up appearances, even in the wilderness--and I'll be on my way. Below is a photo of my excellent grooming--oh, who am I fooling? Below is a photo of what I do whenever I think about what my person did when I showed her proof that a bear had been in the neighborhood....
Picture
Face Palm.
5 Comments
Charles Scribner IX
8/5/2017 01:16:08 pm

Dear Katya,

Having read your latest delightful blog entry, I am contacting you as publisher of Scribner's Publishing House to propose that you author a book. I believe there would be great interest in a description of life in the Alaskan wilderness from the unique viewpoint of a Maine Coon. As one who writes so clearly and forcefully, you are--in my belief--that Coon.

Your interactions with the wild environment and the relatively obtuse humans you have trained would be interesting and entertaining, spiced with your proximity to danger such as those close encounters with bear poop. I hope you will at least consider putting paw to paper in writing your memoirs.

I also hope you will give my firm the first look at any manuscript you might produce, in return for this encouragement. Although I cannot offer any commitment until I have it in hand, Scribner's has published such accomplished authors as Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Vonnegut, Heinlein and Wharton and I believe you would fit right in.

Think it over! Until then, I remain,

Your Friend,

Charlie

Reply
Tara (ADOW)
8/6/2017 02:42:45 pm

Dear Charles Scribner IX,

Thank you so much for your kind words, I will see if I can get my person to cooperate with writing a book along the lines you suggest. I can already tell you're a wise human who appreciates talent and intelligence when you find it so I will enjoy enlightening you about my unique and extraordinary life.

I do have one question. It has come to my attention that there haven't yet been enough generations of Charles Scribners to reach the ninth one yet. Are you from the future?

You can tell me, I promise to only mention it in passing in the book.

Felinely yours,

Katya

Reply
Charles Scribner IX
8/6/2017 02:47:33 pm

No, not the future. But I'm not necessarily native to this particular dimension. In any event, I am very pleased that you are considering my suggestion. Yours is a voice, dear Katya, that could put Alaska on the map!

Bill Anderson aka Travis C. - Amazon Reviewer link
8/7/2017 07:21:37 am

Put me first in line to by the book. I love this cat's writing style and would love to buy the book and review it on Amazon.

PS I also loved the review of Haunted Inside Passage. Clearly, the blogger has learned a great deal of her craftsmanship from Katya...

Reply
Tara (ADOW)
8/7/2017 09:03:12 am

Thank you, Bill, it's good to hear from you. It's true: everything I've ever learned about blogging--or how to be a better person, for that matter--I learned from Katya.

She'll be the first to tell you.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner


    Author

    Tara Neilson (ADOW)

    Picture
    Click on the photo to purchase my memoir

    Archives

    June 2021
    May 2021
    August 2020
    May 2020
    February 2020
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015

    Categories

    All
    Alaska
    Alaskan Movie Review
    Animals
    Art
    Authors
    Birds
    Books
    Building Projects
    Chores
    Communications
    Entertainment
    Family
    Fish
    Foodie
    From The Dairy Crate
    Guest Blogs
    Health
    History
    Hobbies & Crafts
    Interviews
    Jobs
    Legendary Alaskans
    Library
    Logging
    Megans Art
    Monster Busting
    My Book
    My Column
    Myths
    Nostalgia
    Odds N Ends
    Odds-N-Ends
    Phenomena
    Photo Journal
    Raised In Ruins
    Re Purposing
    Re-purposing
    RTV
    Seasons
    Shipwreck Salvage
    Travel
    Videos
    Weather
    White Knuckles
    Wilderness Life Hack
    Writing

    RSS Feed

Tara Neilson©


  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact