You guys have been missing me, right? I told my person you would be, but she makes all these lame excuses about being busy with summer chores and visiting kids and blah, blah, blah. I just stare at her. Until finally she gets it.
Her blog needs a dose of Maine Coon.
BTW, even though you haven't heard from me directly, I've been behind the scenes of her blog like usual, giving her pointers on what works and what doesn't--she can be so clueless in these matters--when she's taking pictures for a post. Check out the opening photo of her Interview with Bjorn Dihle, of his book Haunted Inside Passage (click on Books or Authors in the categories section). That's all me. In the picture below you can see me giving her advice on how to frame the photo of his book.
Anyway, it's summer here which means I have to really ramp up my vermin eradication duties to keep up with the migrant herds of mice, shrews, squirrels, weasels, not to mention the occasional malodorous mink. It's a full time job.
I'm proud to share with all of you that my person has finally gotten with the program and has made my mission much easier to accomplish by putting in a new floating walkway to shore that allows me to hunt at all hours and still be able to return to our floating HQ to refuel, no matter what the tide is doing.
I am so proud of her! I came inside and meowed up a storm, congratulating her on her unexpected brightness and initiative (sometimes I think I underestimate her), then demonstrated my prowess on the new walkway. You can see my runway skills below.
Sadly, she continues to deserve "the back," in order to discipline her on occasion.
Maybe you've heard about the bear problem Alaska's been having this year. They're everywhere and they're causing trouble, sometimes attacking humans. Naturally, I'm concerned about my person and want to make sure she survives in order to continue to feed me and groom me after I've gone to all the trouble of adopting her and training her.
Well, the bears have been around here, too. I came in one night and woke my person up with my special "BEAR!" alarm. I can really crank up the decibels when I give this particular meow. I gave my person my biggest-eye look to really get it through to her that this was Serious Business.
She didn't get it. She thought I was crazy.
Until we went for a walk the next day and I showed her a huge pile of bear leavings right in the middle of the trail, only a few yards from the house. Who's crazy now? I asked.
Turns out, she is.
I couldn't believe my eyes when, instead of running home like a good little person, as I insistently instructed, she took pictures.
I was forced to give her "the back" until she realized the error of her ways and followed me home.
(Graphic Photo Warning: If you have a sensitive stomach, do not look at the picture below.)
It's been hot these last few days and my winter fur has been only slowly coming off all summer a hair--or a hundred--at a time, all over my person's clothes and furniture. She complains, but I'm the one wearing a fur coat in 80 F degree heat.
But my person is nothing if not inventive. When my brush just wasn't coping, she discovered that a small flat stone with a ragged edge pulls all the loose hairs out by the gross. I lie on a rock while she uses the "cat scraper" to good effect.
It sometimes takes an hour for her to groom me properly, and she fusses about it, but we all have to do our part to keep me in top vermin-eradication form.
That reminds me. It's time to clock in again and make sure the critters remember who's boss around here. I just need a final polish--it's important to keep up appearances, even in the wilderness--and I'll be on my way. Below is a photo of my excellent grooming--oh, who am I fooling? Below is a photo of what I do whenever I think about what my person did when I showed her proof that a bear had been in the neighborhood....
Charles Scribner IX
8/5/2017 01:16:08 pm
8/6/2017 02:42:45 pm
Dear Charles Scribner IX,
Charles Scribner IX
8/6/2017 02:47:33 pm
No, not the future. But I'm not necessarily native to this particular dimension. In any event, I am very pleased that you are considering my suggestion. Yours is a voice, dear Katya, that could put Alaska on the map!
8/7/2017 07:21:37 am
Put me first in line to by the book. I love this cat's writing style and would love to buy the book and review it on Amazon.
8/7/2017 09:03:12 am
Thank you, Bill, it's good to hear from you. It's true: everything I've ever learned about blogging--or how to be a better person, for that matter--I learned from Katya.
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Tara Neilson (ADOW)